The Skill of Feedback
Learning how to give constructive feedback is a skill. In a business setting, it’s known as the dreaded performance review, and is considered necessary for employers and therefore expected by employees. However, in a family setting with intricate and complex history among parents, children, siblings, and spouses, feedback can come off more like personal criticism because our brains can latch on to certain prior events that may have traumatized us in a way that is now a trigger anytime a family member says or acts a particular way that automatically causes us to be hypersensitive and defensive (even if it has no bearing on who you’re speaking with or the subject of the discussion). Let’s be honest, most people have a fear or anxiety associated with feedback because it feels like someone is telling us we’re doing something wrong. But feedback is necessary because it holds us accountable for our actions and keeps us on track so that we can improve or make positive changes that is beneficial to our personal development. Feedback doesn’t have to be dreaded if we learn the skill of giving and receiving feedback with an objective of achieving a goal.
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